A Story of Ambush
by Shrine Maiden Kitty
Summary: Bakura was waiting at home to "ambush" Ryou when he began to laugh. What he didn't know was that he tends to snort... and he thought he was being attacked! Slight RyouBakura at the end. In a fluffy way.


**Heyo Everyone! I know I haven't updated anything in a while... I know, I'm awful. But I just haven't been depressed enough to write! So I wrote this little comedy to apologize for not updating in such a while. I hope you guys can hold out a bit longer! Anywho, thanks so many bunches! ENJOY!**

**Kitty does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!**

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**-A Story of Ambush-**

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**I waited quietly in the shadows for Ryou to arrive home from... somewhere. I don't know where he went, and at the time I didn't care, but if he never came home then there was no way for my plan to succeed... Crap. But, upon thinking about my ingenious plan again in my large yet sparsely filled head, I let out an evil cackle that would have been menacing to anyone in my presence, if in fact, anyone was. Unfortunately there was no one there, and my evil jests were left unappreciated in the silent home, echoing off the walls. For some reason, this only made me feel all the more evil, and I continued to laugh. "MUAH HA HA HA -snort!-" What was that?? What was that hideous noise that interrupted my evil cackling?! I instantly felt my body go rigid as I stood from my hiding place behind a lamp (I was certain Ryou would never see me there!) and went to investigate.**

"**Who's here?!" I hollered in a vain attempt to find the intruder who had made such mockery of my evilness. I bet whoever this person was that he was trying to steal my plan of ambush! Oh dear Ra! He wanted to prank Ryou as well! Let me tell you something 'Mr. I-Will-Steal-Bakura's-Awesomely-Awesome-Plans-of-Ambush-Because-I-Am-a-Loser-and-Am-Too-Dumb-to-Think-of-Something-Better-to-Do-Than-Steal-Plans-From-Someone-Who-is-Obviously-So-Much-Cooler-Than-Me', no one, and I mean NO ONE, will mess with Ryou's fragile and disturbingly girlish mind until I've done it FIRST! Got that, Bub?! **

**Wait... he probably didn't hear me on the account that I was thinking that thought to myself. Crap... so I thought up that awesome and sneaky and elaborate name in my head and now I'll never remember the whole thing to tell the stupid punk who's here! Just peachy! Sometimes I have to remember that not everyone can hear my thoughts... Curse you, Ryou! Wait, I just remembered that I can block Ryou from my thoughts at will... YAY! VICTORY FOR BAKURA! And with that thought after a thorough search of the house, I decided to let out a cackle... of victory!!!! **

"**MUAHAHAHAHAHA-snort!-" Ah there it is again! "WHAT THE HECK???" I screamed into the nothingness of Ryou's bedroom, the last room I had been searching. That sneaky Ryou-tricker wannabe must be near! Well, he can't trick me! Muah! I shall find him! He must be somewhere here in Ryou's room! "FOUND YOU!" I shouted at the drapes as the wind blew them. Nothing. Darn. I began fishing around through Ryou's junk, looking for the fiend who dare defy me. Stupid boy, having so much garbage. "CURSE YOU, RYOU!" I growled as I threw a stack of neatly folded socks to the floor that had been in my way on the bed. Seriously, who FOLDS their socks!? Strange boy! Why are you so awkward and weird?! WHY?! My eye twitched in frustration as I realized, after much destruction in Ryou's room, that the room was, in fact, without a trespasser.**

"**Hm... cherry pies. By Ra I shall find that man if it's the last thing I do!" I screamed in frustration. It was then that a small, creepy and annoying little voice popped into my head, sounding suspiciously like Yuugi. 'What if it is not, in fact, a man, but a woman that you are seeking?' What the heck?!? "HEY YUUGI!" I paused waiting for a reply; there was none. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU STUPID LITTLE PHARAOH WANNABE!" Silence. Good, I win. Stupid Pharaoh's hikari... always ruining my plans and making Ryou all happy-like. Grr...**

'**You're losing it, Bakura.' Awe crap, there's that voice again! Curses! I just want to know what's going on now, all thoughts of Ryou's friendly (but at the same time evil) ambush forgotten. Where did that little fruit run off to for so long... I'm getting lonely... and insane... and freaked out... AH THE VOICES! THEY DARE MOCK THE GREAT TOMB THEIF BAKURA?? I THINK NOT! So, without any elaborate plan of action, I decided to wage war on this... thingy... voice... mocker... dude. YES! WAHAHAHA! **

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**Haha! One can never have too much body armor! I smirked as I surveyed my work. I was wearing a pillow strapped to my chest with a belt, my knees and elbows were wrapped with toilet tissue, there was a spaghetti strainer placed atop my head, and I had a wooden spoon thrust before me should anyone attempt to come near. Yes, it was the perfect outfit of protection, yet flexible enough to still enforce my doom. Yes, just thinking about it made me grin like a wacko. YES.**

"**What shall you do now, Fiend-Within-the-Shadows," I silently congratulated myself for thinking up such a great name ALOUD, then went on with my speech of terror, "Will you show yourself? Or will you simply flee in terror from the Almighty Bakura?!" Silence. Grr. He mocks me yet again with his silence. That makes me want to... CAUSE PAIN! Yes, I shall inflict pain upon this thingy and be all-powerful! Yes! Waha!**

**I did an effective barrel-roll into a menacing and stealthy army-crawl. He would never detect my presence! I crept up against the couch and leapt into the air, pouncing on the clearly ancient and worn vinyl (of course none of shall be blamed on me!) and began beating it mercilessly with my lethal wooden spoon. Darn! I missed again! This one was a true trickster, crafty and silent, and able to evade my every move! Perhaps a worthy adversary... WAIT! I shall not stoop to the level of my opponent! There is absolutely NO fraternizing with the enemy under the rules of Tomb Thief Bakura!**

**This may all just be a test! Maybe Ryou had Kaiba (aka Moneybags) send over one of his hit men or frighteningly large and bulging henchmen to finally do me in?! Oh Ryou, how could you?! Do you detest me so much to go as far as hiring some bulky and dangerously armed man to have me whacked off?! Oh the inhumanity! You evil and demonic child! I will have you SPANKED for this! With a wooden spoon! I win again!**

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**It was just then that Ryou came home from grocery shopping, his arms crammed to their capacity with Shop 'N Save bags filled with all your necessary items. Foods, toiletries, and a few goodies as well. Bakura remained still and completely silent as he hid behind the drapes still in his prior attire. He watched as Ryou gently set the bags down on the foyer floor and as he pulled out his keys to lock the door mechanically as he had been doing for years. He picked up the bags, a serene look on his face, not quite a grin, but no hint of sadness or unease. He dropped his keys on the kitchen table as he went to go put the groceries away. "Bakura, I'm home!" he called from the kitchen, still unaware of his other's presence.**

**Bakura crept as quietly as he could across the den's fuzzy carpet, spoon in tow, and was finally able to reach the moment he had been waiting for. He stood slowly and sidled around the wall's corner and leapt into the kitchen! "AHH!" he screamed at Ryou. The perfect plan of ambush! "Wahh!" Ryou squealed in surprise and jumped around quickly to face his other. But Ryou's reaction alone was enough to satisfy Bakura, and to give him a victory! "Oh, Bakura, you scared me!" Ryou exclaimed, emphasizing his statement by placing his hand over his rabidly beating heart. But Bakura was not listening, he was preparing for the most evil laugh EVER.**

"**WAH HA HA HA HA-Snort!-" Bakura immediately shut his mouth and began looking around the room like a caged animal! But, Ryou began to laugh. "Oh, Bakura!" he giggled, as he covered his mouth to stifle his laughter. Bakura could only glare at his hikari in a confused manner. "I demand to know what is so funny!" he growled. Ryou quickly composed himself. "Oh well, it's just that, when you laugh Bakura, you snort!" "I WHAT?!" "You snort, you know like this," Ryou explained doing a little demonstration, yet a bit milder than Bakura had been. Bakura just stared at him dumbfounded.**

"**So THAT'S what all that bloody racket has been every time I've been cackling evilly? I thought there was someone evil in the house!" Bakura raged. Ryou just grinned. "Oh, Bakura, don't get so bent out of shape! The only evil one in this house is you!" Bakura smirked at this. "Besides," Ryou grinned wider, "I think it's sorta cute." And with that the young boy left the room grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Bakura simply gaped. CUTE? CURSE YOU RYOU!!!!!**

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**Whee! That was certainly exciting! At least I thought so! And it was soo cute! Bakura has such a runaway imagination! How sweet! Anyways, I hope you folks all liked it! One nice review will make me happy! **

**HAPPY READING!**


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